Secret Names
by RuaDragon
Summary: Shizuru met her best friend over the internet. They have never met face to face. It's time to find out who the real person is.
1. Untitled

**Secret Names**

**Rating: T**

**Author: Me**

**Disclaimer: I own Sunrise and Mai-HiME (this is a lie). **

**___________________________________________________________________________**

**Chapter 1**

It was one of those afternoons that made Shizuru glad her parents weren't home. She didn't look it but she was tired. It had been a long day.

Morning classes had been alright, but there was an air raid drill just before lunch. A few students felt that their class being moved to the hall, were roll would immediately be taken, was a perfect opportunity to sneak away and have a smoke. So she, as per her duties as the Student Council President, left Reito in charge and went to look for them. And of course Haruka had insisted on 'assisting', which made the whole endeavour that much more tiresome.

When she finally found the missing students, and discovered why they had snuck off in the first place, she was furious. Though apparently not as much, nor nearly as vocally, as Haruka. The other girl had almost deafened the truant students with her yelling, calling them worthless ingrates who had no respect for the school, nor of the measures it took to ensure their safety. Were they so quick to forget the bombing of the third dorm building last year? This last little factor made Shizuru pause. She normally wouldn't have been angry at all with the students; the school really overdid it when it came to the number of air raid drills they had, the procedure itself was not difficult to remember, and she could well understand the students' boredom.

The bombing had changed that. Early last semester a small group of planes had flown over, around midnight, and attempted to blow the school away. For the most part it seemed like they were just trying to draw attention to themselves, they tore up a lot of the mountainside around the school and a few sections of the schoolground. One stray bomb landed on a dorm. Many were injured but very few died. The planes were identified as Korean, though the Korean government denied any involvement, citing non-government organisations as those responsible. This was their story whenever such occurrences happened, and under international law so long as the Korean government denied involvement, and there was no proof to the contrary, war could not be declared.

The incident itself little effected Shizuru, who lived with her parents, knew no one who had died or been injured, rarely ventured near the dorms, and had slept through the whole thing. Certainly it was shocking, but a few months later Division 9 found and apprehended the culprits, the dorm was rebuilt and everything went back to normal. Though apparently not, if today was any indication. It bothered Shizuru to realize that the incident shook her more deeply then she had originally believed, and she worried over it for the rest of the day the way a dog attends an old bone, ever gnawing but getting nowhere.

When the school day finally ended it was time for a student council meeting. The one that afternoon was longer than usual, and full of overblown ideas put forward by Haruka (and Yukino), to be subsequently pulled apart and dismissed by Shizuru and Reito.

It was the sum of these things that left Shizuru, by the time she got home, tired and glad her parents weren't about. She wandered up to her bedroom and put her bag down in its corner. She just wanted to lie down and rest for a bit, or maybe make some tea and drink it out on the balcony. As she thought these things her eyes briefly, accidentally, slid over the face of her computer. She stopped. Shizuru stared, examining what she saw over and over, half believing it wasn't real. Praying it was. In the inbox that remained open on her computer screen sat a single new message. And on that little blue line, the sender; Duran. Duran, handle of Itsuki Akagawa. The boy she met three years ago on an internet forum. The boy who was her best friend. The boy she hadn't heard from in weeks. The boy she was in love with. The boy she never met.

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When she was 15 Shizuru grew curious as to how Jap-sea conflict series were perceived by the public. These were television series about the 'Japan-sea conflict', the undeclared, underground war between Korea, Japan and Russia, the three countries bordering the Japan sea. They were surprisingly prevalent for a country whose government was so secretive about the conflict itself. They were all, also, very much the same; young Japanese men and women struggling against the evil forces of Korea and Russia while espousing the greatness of Japan and solving mysteries, outwitting enemies and so forth. The level of characterization and depth of motivation these evil forces got ranged from moderate to none, depending on the show.

Shizuru understood that the tiny amount of information released to the public meant these series had little to no grounding in reality, and she was curious to see how many others thought this way. This, of course, was back when schools were still legally allowed to teach what 'propaganda' meant. The girls who followed her around talked about the characters in Jap-sea shows as if they were real people, but they talked about characters from everything that way, so they were no help. Shizuru turned to the internet, which was full of blistering arguments on the subject.

One of the forums she ended up at contained a discussion comparing two of the most popular Jap-sea shows, 'Yukimura's Case' and 'The Division'. 'Yukimura's Case' was about a Kyoto PI, Yukimura Oshii, trapped in Korea, who solved crimes to pay the rent. These crimes always involved the JS conflict in some way. Realistic, engaging characters and intriguing mysteries were considered the main reason why it was so popular.

'The Division' was about the strong, handsome, intelligent young men of Division 9, who were sent in to deal with the toughest cases of the JS conflict. It's main appeal was a clever plot and well toned-young men running around in tight clothes.

Shizuru suspected that Haruka watched it.

One factor frequently bought up was that, unlike Mr. Yukimura, Division 9 was actually real. The precise characters may not exist, but there **was** a Division 9, and it **did** deal with the toughest cases in the JS conflict. It had appeared suddenly in the media several years ago, and from then on seemed to be the main force behind all of Japan's major victories. People loved Division 9. Becoming a member is what children wanted to be when they grew up, fansites popped up all over the internet, 'Support Division 9' slogans appeared on a popular new line of encouragement posters. It wasn't just a Division, it was _the_ Division.

Except that it didn't actually exist, as Shizuru's government official uncle gleefully informed them over dinner one night. He had, out of curiosity one day, looked into military finances in greater depth then his job required. And, while he legally could not tell them what he found, he could tell them what he did not find, and that was any record of a Division 9. This news only cemented what Shizuru had begun to suspect, that Division 9 was just a character made up by the government, to boost the morale of the Japanese people and somewhat personalise the distant, impersonal army. She also suspected that this was the purpose of the television series (though _officially_ the government could not influence the media beyond banning items from air), to give a face to the thing that had itself become the face of the army. As it was, people got very angry at Shizuru when she suggested any of this.

Although that forum was an utter failure in terms of her original goal, it _was_ where she met Duran for the first time. At that very discussion in fact. He showed up suddenly out of nowhere and proceeded to argue with everybody. He seemed to think 'The Division' was the superior of the two series simply because it had more explosions, but also argued in her defence that Division 9 did not really exist. He was a clever arguer, and was never without a rebuttal for whatever his opponents said. Pretty imaginative when it came to insults too. Their first real interaction occurred when she spoke to him directly

**Kiyohime: Ah, they still do not believe us Duran, whatever shall we do?**

And he replied thus

**Duran: Oi, oi, oi! We? Who said I was on _your_ side?**

She proceeded to tease him about being all alone, and he pointedly ignored her for the rest of the discussion. Shizuru found this greatly amusing, and went to check out his profile, which was pretty basic. It read

**Name: Duran**

**Age: 17**

**Occupation: Student**

**Likes: Guns, motorbikes, puppies, mayonnaise**

**Dislikes: Other people**

She laughed out loud when she saw it, thinking '_is this guy for real?_' She ended up hanging around those forums for a few more weeks, much longer then she had intended. Much longer indeed, then it had taken for her interest in the subject to wane into nothingness. She stayed there for Duran.

Back then she only found him interesting. He could be found in various discussions, his views changed frequently, from one discussion to the next, so it seemed like he didn't believe in any of them. But every now and then she would notice something that he never, or rarely changed his mind on, and would think, with small feelings of triumph that she still remembered, _ahh, so this is what you really believe_. Over the weeks they interacted more and more, eventually messaging each other privately. At first he acted tough and aloof, and irritated by her overtures of friendship, but it didn't take long for that to melt away, and she really liked the person she saw underneath.

Shizuru finally stopped going to the forum when they exchanged emails and began talking on msn. She found out that his parents worked in business and travelled a lot. He stayed at boarding school and rarely saw them. She began looking forward to coming home in the afternoon, just so she could talk to him. He would ask her how her day was, and was always interested in the answer, even if she just talked about everyday things. He didn't talk about what he did very often and was generally sketchy on the details. When he did actually tell her about his day he didn't use his friend's names when he spoke about them, they were all just "my friend", but over time she recognised a few of them. There was a motherly one with a large bust, which was often the focus of jokes, an irritating underclassmen he had a love-hate relationship with, another boy he once described as "useless", yet truly did not seem to dislike, an energetic, dependant underclassmen, and a very gossipy girl who might just be more than one person.

Eventually she convinced him that they should swap photos of each other. She sent a few pictures of herself to him, and he sent one back. The view was from the shoulders up, he appeared to be wearing a biker jacket, and she could just make out the curve of the top of a bike helmet under his arm. He had the loveliest face she had ever seen. It seemed to radiate strength and vulnerability at the same time, just like he did. He had short midnight blue hair, the cut was intentionally ragged, going for a scruffy look. It didn't work, even from the photo she could tell his hair was so smooth and straight he probably never had a knot in his life. The centre of all this had been his eyes. Green, gorgeous eyes. They looked like the type of eyes in which someone can read many things. But not here, with only a snapshot that revealed nothing but a young man smiling wanly back at the camera. Sometimes Shizuru would bring the photo up onto her desktop, just so she could stare at it. That should have warned her, but she was good at pushing away her feelings and pretending they weren't there.

One day, a few months later, she was telling Duran a funny story, something amusing someone had done. Nothing important, she couldn't even remember what it had been or who it was about. However instead of responding with typed laughter, a play symbol appeared in the msn window and she heard rough, joyful laughter bubbling out of the speakers.

It was that precise moment when Shizuru realised she was helplessly in love with Duran.

She saved the sound recording to a folder on her desktop.

About a year into their friendship he surprised her again. He was telling her about a stunt he pulled on his bike, he had screwed up a jump, but still managed to land properly despite (accidentally) almost doing a flip. She had mock complained about not being able to see it. He responded something like

**"Fine, if it will stop your complaining"**

A few minutes later a "**download video**" icon appeared in the msn window. She opened it. The soundless video began with a scene of a forest clearing, with many people, who appeared to be from all over the spectrum of teenagehood, running around in ninja outfits. The camera turned slightly to the right and focused on a small group of people nearby, one of them was standing next to a motorcycle. It zoomed in on this one, who turned to face the camera. It was Duran. He looked slighter then she had expected, but it was him, she could tell by the little bit of his face that wasn't covered in dark cloth, by the eyes and the little wisps of blue hair that escaped his hood. He turned away from the camera, removed the cloth from around his face, donned a helmet and mounted the bike.

He drove off into the forest and all the little ninja people fled to the edges of the clearing. There was a high ridge near one side of the clearing, the camera focused on this while everyone else kept well away. Suddenly Duran burst out of the forest. The bike hit the ridge and flew into the air. It wobbled as it did so and began to flip. Duran jerked the machine and it righted itself, just in time to hit the ground with both wheels, bounce once and come to a stop.

The video ended abruptly there. Shizuru hadn't thought that anything could improve the warm fuzzy feeling in her chest that remained for days after she spoke to Duran, but seeing that video sure did. He began sending her videos of stunts he'd done, whenever she bugged him about it. One day it clicked that he only mentioned some things just so she would ask to see them. Eventually he dropped even this pretence, sending her videos without describing the events at all. Each time he waited eagerly afterwards for her always glowing reply. He was very much like a puppy in that way.

Once she joked about feeling jealous of the girls she saw him with in his videos. Although she didn't see anyone's faces, as they always wore ninja-type masks, some of the people were obviously female. He responded, embarrassed, in the negative. As she had hoped, because it hadn't really been a joke at all.

One of the common punishments at his boarding school was removal of internet privileges. He seemed to get into trouble a lot, and would sometimes be missing for weeks. Each time got harder. His sincere, excited happiness when they made contact again was almost enough to make up for it. But not quite. One of their few arguments came about when she tried to convince him to just **be good, **and try to avoid having his internet privileges taken away. The absences were becoming too hard for her.

But of course she never told him that. She would never breathe a word about her feelings. Because she was afraid. Because what, to an outsider, appeared to be reciprocation of those feelings; his joy when they were reunited, his eagerness for her approval after each video, his subtle desire for affectionate words. To her, having known him for years, those things were just as likely, **more** likely, to be the response of a child who received little to no affection as he grew up, estranged from his family, with few close friends. Anything that could be an expression of liking or love for her was eclipsed by his loneliness, and the desire to quench it. As to how he felt about her specifically, she had no idea. And so, her lips were sealed.

Several weeks ago Itsuki sent her an email, saying 'goodbye'. He had to break contact with her, but couldn't, wouldn't, say why. He said only that they were best friends, that she meant a lot to him, and that they would never be able to speak to each other ever again. She felt ill, wretchedly so, in between bouts of shock and disbelief. She quickly began writing him an email, a very long, meticulously thought out email, asking why he thought he had to do this, and explaining why it was a silly idea. When it elicited no reply she sent another one. And another. And another. They became increasingly hysterical. She grew furious at his lack of response and the emails quickly turned into nasty letters brimming with intense, restrained anger. Anger degenerated into helpless begging. Nothing worked. Begging stopped, to be replaced with mournful, exhausted acceptance. She felt dead. A few days after she sent her second last email to him, she pulled herself together enough to compose her last. It was a proper goodbye, to match his, and she sent it off and from then on tried not to think about him anymore. It didn't work, but she did try.

That had been a week ago. And now here it was, the thing she had so desperately longed for all these weeks, a reply. She opened it with trembling fingers. There was an attachment, and the body of the email said only this:

**I'm sorry. I love you.**

**Don't show this to anyoe youdon't recognise.**

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Author's Note: Holy crap that took a long time to write! I hope the following chapters aren't this long.....

Now, unless you're like me and skip everything in a fic that doesn't have Natsuki in it, or at least people talking about Natsuki, you may have noticed a few strange things. Russia, Korea and Japan are apparently at war. Korea is a country. Everyone in Japan is speaking English. Msn does not quite work the same way as it does here. These are because this is an AU, set in a world very similar to ours but with a few major differences. Just like the world in the _His Dark Materials_ trilogy, accept not related in any way.


	2. Lies 1

**Chapter 2: Lies**

**Author's note: Here we are, updating on the last day of the year. Think of it as a new years gift. You may notice that this chapter is a lot smaller then the last one. That's because the last chapter took so very long to write, so I decided that smaller chapters with faster updating was better than longer chapters with slower updating. **

**Thank you everyone for the reviews, they were very nice. My self esteem enjoyed reading them. Also sorry about the paragraph thing in the previous chapter, the pages are wider than the pages I write on, so it's difficult to tell how much is too much or too little, I have tried to put in more this time though. And now, enjoy! **

**_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

Shizuru opened the attachment. It wasn't gibberish. It was less then gibberish. An incoherent mass with no spaces to indicate words or paragraphs, and no symbols beyond English letters and numbers. Four pages of it. She knew enough of English to know that the letters weren't spelling out words. If it was a code it was unlike any code she had ever seen. Not that she had much experience in that matter.

Giving up, she closed the attachment and moved back to the message in the email. _I love you_. Her heart skipped its beat for a second time upon rereading those words. But what kind of love? _Ara, is this really the time to be thinking about that?_ She moved on.

_Don't show this to anyoe youdon't recognise_.

That line was odd. Duran was an excellent typist, even on msn he rarely made mistakes. And he read over his emails before sending them. So why was this line so wrong? He could have written it in a great hurry, and didn't have time to read over it. It could be his way of telling her that the email was false somehow. It could have been written by somebody else. She dismissed the last one. What sort of imposter would write so badly? The message itself was also odd. _Don't show this to anyone you don't recognise_. Surely he didn't mean that she could show it to everyone she did recognise? No, what would be the point of that? Perhaps then, he meant anyone close to him that she recognised. Such as the people from the videos. But what was the point of that? She didn't know any of them, she didn't even know where they were. She opened the attachment again. It remained incomprehensible. She closed it.

Leaning back into her chair with a sigh, Shizuru once again felt how tired she was. The email gave her nothing, no clue as to what had happened and why. Only a vague sense that something was very wrong. And it seemed like she had to start somewhere else if she was going to look for answers.

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The next day Shizuru was weaving through crowds of students heading from one class to the next. None of the students in Shizuru's previous class where in the one that followed, which was good because it meant no one was around to see her head in completely the wrong direction. It was also good, because Yukino had a free period now, and would most likely be alone in the Student Council room. Shizuru needed to speak to her without Haruka around. Haruka would ask a lot of awkward questions, and unlike the other girl any questions Yukino had could be shut up with a "I don't see how that's any of your business." She couldn't afford questions. Because what she needed was the Citizen database.

It was not official, but the internet in Japan was censored. Or more correctly, it was isolated. It was not connected to that of the rest or the world, anything that did not originate in Japan was out of reach. The language barrier meant that few realised it, but those that attempted to seek information from outside of their country soon found the task impossible. Furthermore there were large chunks of the internet that were out of reach to the public. There were many levels, requiring increasing heights of authority to reach. Some could be accessed by public servants and higher, some by government officials, others only by the military and so on.

The Citizen database was on one of the lower levels. It listed every citizen in Japan by name (and only citizens were allowed in Japan, accept tourists who were only allowed in certain places). Each citizen had their own page, which included a photograph, their date, time and place of birth, where they went/go to school, current city or township of residence, any felonies, and links to the pages of any close relatives. It was for use by public servants as a protection against spies. Anyone wishing to be involved in a public institution, including schools, must be background checked. Which meant there would be access to it from the school.

Itsuki went to a boarding school. He should have graduated last year but failed many of his final exams and had to repeat. If she could find out what school he went to, she could find him.

Shizuru reached the door of the Student Council room. It reminded her that they had a meeting this afternoon, which caused her to sigh. It wasn't that she disliked being the student council president. She actually quite enjoyed it, but it could get tiresome sometimes. And right now dealing with the woes of the school was not something she particularly wanted to do. She opened the door and walked through.

Yukino was sitting at her desk, typing away and looking very serious. She sat up, startled, when she realized someone had entered the room. Shizuru inclined her head politely when they made eye contact.

"Yukino-san, I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

Yukino made the slightest shake of her head.

"Ah, nothing important, Kaichou-san."

"Well then, may I ask for your help with something?" she said it very sweetly.

Yukino quickly nodded. Shizuru walked over to where she was sitting, and put on the most innocent face possible.

"Ara, was wondering if you knew how to access the Citizen database?"

Of everything she could have wanted, Yukino was not expecting that.

"What do you need that for?" She asked.

"The principal asked me to look someone up for her." Shizuru smoothly replied.

Yukino (briefly) considered pointing out that this was an obvious lie, but one look at Shizuru's innocent face made her think better of it. There had been no particular incident to make her feel this way, but Yukino had always been a little bit afraid of Shizuru. So instead she just turned back to her computer and answered the original question.

"I don't have the authority to access that, Kaichou-san."

"Then who does?"

Yukino quickly glanced at the council president.

"You do."

Shizuru smiled wide on the inside. She **did** enjoy being student council president.

Duran had encouraged her when she considered going for it.

Yukino followed Shizuru to her desk, and waited while she turned on her laptop and input the password. Shizuru moved over and allowed Yukino to sit in front of the computer. She watched carefully as the other girl went through the process of bringing up the Citizen database, a little surprised that she seemed to already know how to do it.

"Ara, how did Yukino-san learn where to find it?"

Yukino thought it was unfair that Shizuru was allowed to ask her questions, while she was not really allowed to ask Shizuru anything. Such as _why didn't you go to a teacher for this_? And _what was so important that you had to skip class for it? _However an extra two minutes of interaction had not changed the fact that Yukino was a little bit afraid of Shizuru, so once again she just answered the question.

"I had to help Watanabe-sensei with it one day."

Shizuru 'mmm'ed in response. A minute later Yukino made the final click and the Citizen database appeared on screen. It was a rather unimpressive front page for a website used to monitor every citizen in Japan. A plain beige background with two little buttons, 'options' and 'exit' on the top right corner. In the exact centre sat a bar in which to input a name. Yukino looked away politely as Shizuru leaned forward and typed in 'Itsuki Akagawa'. She pressed 'enter'. The word 'searching' appeared on the screen. A moment later it was replaced by the words 'No matches found'. It took a minute for Shizuru to process what she was seeing.

"Yukino-san, what does that mean?" She asked.

"It means that there is no one with that name in Japan." Yukino replied.

And there it was. No one with that name lived in Japan. Itsuki Akagawa did not officially exist.

Shizuru stood up quickly. She closed the Citizen database, and calmly bowed to Yukino.

"Thank you for helping me with that." She said it politely, without the slightest indication that something was wrong. Yukino replied

"Ah, you're welcome, kaichou-san."

Then Shizuru turned around and walked out of the Student Council room.

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She did not return to class. She walked straight out of the school building and curled up under a tree near the flower garden, out of sight from anyone.

For as long as she had known Itsuki there had been a little voice inside her. It rarely spoke, and when it did she took hold of it and shoved it away, down, down, so far she couldn't hear it anymore and could pretend it wasn't there at all. But it was, and it whispered _everything you know about him is what __**he**__ has told you. How much of it is lies?_ And now it came back, in a flood, louder than ever _He lied about his name. What else was lies? His age? His gender? Was that picture even real? Were those videos even of him, or did he take them from the net? Maybe he told you not to show them to anyone because he feared others would recognise them. Maybe everything was a lie, everything he told you, every word he said. He may not even be real, just a construct created by a person, or a group of people, to play with others on the net. To make a fool of you. And you fell for it. _

Shizuru gasped. Deep breaths sucked themselves into her chest, and she tried to stop herself from sobbing. She shook her head, _calm down, just calm down_. As her breathing eased she carefully began to arrange her thoughts. He lied about his name. That didn't mean much. He could have just been hesitant to tell her his real name, and simply made another one up, and become too embarrassed about it later to correct her. It was nothing to get so worked up about. But what about everything else? The photo. The videos. His family life. Occupation. Take all that away, and what was left was the person she had been talking to almost every night since she was 15. An essence. A personality stripped of all other factors. That was what Duran was. Not Itsuki. Duran. Who was still her best friend. Who she still loved. But was that even real? A person, or people, could not have bothered to play with her for **three years**, could they?

No.

Maybe.

His personality was so consistent, so natural in the way he matured. She had been watching closely. There were things she didn't think he realized about himself, which she had noticed. That couldn't be faked, could it? It didn't seem likely, but the voice was still there, whispering. She needed to know. She needed to find the source of Duran.

It was going to be hard.

After all, she'd just lost square one.


	3. Lies 2

Chapter 3: Lies (2)

**Author's note: Hahaha! You all thought I'd forgotten about this fic, didn't you? Well I didn't, so here it is.**

**I apologise to all the reader for the huge, unprecedented gap between updates. I have every intention of finishing this story, so even if there are long gaps between updates it doesn't mean I've abandoned it. Though hopefully any future breaks won't be anywhere near as long as this one. Also I would like to thank my beta CrazyNinjaPenguin for their help.**

It had been three days since Shizuru's attempts to find Duran through the name Itsuki Akagawa met with an abrupt and startling end. Three long, tedious days. Shizuru spent most of that time studying for the upcoming mid-year exams. She took breaks from her studying that were too long and occurred too often, in which she pondered the next move to take.

It was therefore fitting that, on the night of the second day, the doubt that she had so recently become acquainted with gave her the answer.

During the lunch hour of the third day, Shizuru sat on the school lawn with her laptop and her lunch. It was a pleasant day, sunny and warm, and a generous selection of students sat around her on the grass, listening to every word she said.

"You see," she began, "my friend and I play this game. We send each other pictures of obscure celebrities, and the other must find out who it is. But, I think my friend has quite outdone himself in obscurity with this last one."

At that she produced the picture of Duran. Keeping her ears on the conversation directed to her, she let her eyes follow the picture as it made its way around the circle, watching for any sign of recognition.

"Where do you know this friend from, Kaichou-san?" one girl asked.

"Ara, we met in middle school, but he moved away just before high school started," Shizuru answered

"And you kept in touch all this time? That's amazing, you're really lucky," the girl said, and she truly meant it.

"It is wonderful that you've been able to remain friends," said another girl. She didn't mean it, Shizuru could hear the latent jealousy behind every word.

The picture was returned to her; no one recognized the young man smiling back at them. She flicked on her laptop and pulled up the folder containing all the videos Duran had sent her. Everyone agreed that the ninja outfits indicated some kind of amateur stunt group, but no one had seen or heard anything like them. She showed them five videos; there were too many to show all of them, and there was a little ball of feeling in her chest that made her not want to share any more of these videos then absolutely necessary. After the fifth video a mousy girl from the grade below hers slid over.

"Um, Fujino-san," she said, "my boyfriend spends a lot of time watching these kinds of videos on the internet, I'm sure he'd be able to help you."

"Do you think so?" she replied perfectly. "That would be wonderful."

The girl quickly got up and ran over to a group of boys fooling around under a nearby tree. She spoke with them briefly and one followed her back to Shizuru.

The boy sat down. Polite introductions were made by the girl. Without a word Shizuru began playing the videos. As the last one ended the boy shook his head.

"I'm pretty sure they're an amateur stunt group, but I don't think I've even heard of this group before." He looked at Shizuru. "I can ask around for you, but right now I can't tell you who they are. Sorry."

"Ah." Oh dear; that "Ah" had sounded a lot more dejected then she had intended. Shizuru quickly picked her voice up.

"Could you ask around for me? I need all the help I can get." There, light-hearted and casual. Perfect.

The boy agreed and left, and conversation turned to other subjects. The students in Shizuru's science class began to once again discuss what the surprise might be that Hotomi-sensei had promised them for tomorrow. Shizuru feigned interest, having long since decided that it was probably a video or something else equally disappointing. The bell rang and everyone headed to class.

By the time she was almost home Shizuru was very tired. She should have stayed back at the school library and got some actual work done. All that faced her at home was another night of distracted study, another night of staring at her "Its-Duran's" email, another night of fruitless speculation as to how to discover who he was.

There was an official looking black car outside her house.

There were two men in official looking black suits in the living room talking to her parents.

Her mother watched her nervously as she walked in. This worried Shizuru. It made her wonder what these men were here for.

"Shizuru. These two men are from the government. They want to speak to you about something."

She looked at them in bewilderment. She couldn't think of anything she'd been involved in that would even remotely lead to government agents wanting to speak to her in her house. She was so surprised that it took several seconds of staring at them before she remembered that she should be sitting down. The men watched her quietly as she lowered herself into a chair opposite them. Then one spoke.

"Good afternoon, Fujino-san. I am agent Oshi, this is agent Watanabe. We are sorry to disturb you, but we need you to answer a few questions about Natsuki Hizura."

Shizuru blinked. "Who?" Their explanation did not decrease her bewilderment at all. Her immediate thought was that they must be talking about someone from her school. Yet she was sure that she'd never heard that name before. "So why are they asking me...?"

Agent Oshi reached into the folds of his jacket and pulled a photo from a hidden pocket. He spoke as he handed it to her.

"We know that she has been in frequent contact with you over the past three years."

Shizuru's fingers brushed the edge of the photograph.

"You would know her by the handle 'Duran'."

The photograph was in her hand. She was staring at that face, those eyes, that hair. It was longer, almost to her waist. This picture showed more of her then Shizuru's had. Here she could clearly see the other girl's figure. Duran's figure. It was sinking in. Duran. This was Duran. Everything she'd been desperately seeking had just been thrown into her lap, with a suddenness that sent her reeling. Shizuru felt like he heart was shaking. She had to put a lot of energy into making sure the rest of her didn't follow suit. She let her thumb slide over the photograph, over the hair, a cheek. When she spoke her voice sounded tiny and weak.

"Yes. I know her."

Yet even as she said it her thoughts swirled with unknowing. This girl, she knew everything about her, and nothing at all. If she spoke to her face to face, would she be just like Duran? Shizuru stared at the photo as if it could answer this for her. It couldn't, barely revealing any more to her than the picture this Natsuki had personally sent. Who was this girl? And what did she think of Shizuru?

The Student Council President glanced up and saw agent Oshi looking at her expectantly. She handed the photo back without looking at it again.

"What is this about?" she asked. This time Agent Watanabe answered. He was very terse, lacking even Oshi's miniscule amount of affability.

"She disappeared almost a week ago."

Shizuru immediatly snapped on her most neutral expression. It may not have worked completely, these were government agents after all, but hopefully it hid the fact that she was now painfully conscious of the three day old email sitting in her laptop. She was also trying to hide the confusing mix of fear and understanding she was feeling now. Understanding, that this was related to the sense of wrongness she got from Duran's last email, and fear because her friend was missing. Fortunately she was also able to keep her wits about her.

"Ara....It seems a bit odd, that government agents would be investigating the disappearance of a teenage girl."

Agent Oshi answered

"Natsuki Hizura is the daughter of a high ranking military official. That is why we are involved."

Shizuru's mother gasped

"You mean this could have something to do with the war?!"

Oshi turned to her

"It is a possibility, but we have not confirmed anything yet."

His attention returned to Shizuru. The attention of the quiet Watanabe, she noted, had never left her.

"Fujino-san," Oshi began, "your friend could very well be in a great deal of trouble. In your correspondence, has she ever mentioned anything strange, or suspicious? Has she told you anything you think her parents and friends may not have known about? A boyfriend perhaps? Anything at all that caught your attention, particularly in the past few weeks."

"Don't show this to anyone you don't recognise."

For a moment, despite the ominous instructions, Shizuru almost opened her mouth and told Agent Oshi about the email. What he said was true, after all, Natsuki could be in danger, and these men could help. But then she remembered that Division 9 did not exist.

"I'm afraid," she answered, "that Natsuki cut off all communication with me over a month ago. As for before that, I can think of nothing that she's told me that could help you, nor do I believe that she has told me anything that her other friends would not know."

She had barely finished when Watanabe spoke, cutting off whatever Oshi had planned to say next.

"Why did she cut you off?"

"I don't know. She sent me an email, informing me that she would no longer be able to contact me, and I haven't heard from her since."

"How long ago was that?" Oshi asked. Shizuru unconsciously tilted her head in thought.

"About five weeks."

The agents glanced at each with interest at this new development, the action effectively hidden from the Fujino family by their sunglasses. They were thinking the same thing; "The girl had seen something coming, from as far back as five weeks ago." Oshi spoke.

"Was there anything suspicious before that? Any indication that Hizura would take this kind of action?"

"None, I was taken completely by surprise."

"May we see this email?"

"No." That email was Duran's goodbye. There wasn't anything embarrassing in it, but it was too personal, meant too much, for her to willingly let others see it. Unfortunately this was the kind of situation where one couldn't say no.

"Of course. It is on my laptop in my bedroom."

Shizuru stood up and headed for the stairs, intending only to fetch the laptop, but the two men followed, with her parents trailing behind. She could hear her heart thumping in her chest, and desperately tried to calm herself down without indicating that she was even slightly nervous. The email they wanted was in the folder where she kept all her correspondence with Duran. The email she defiantly did not want them to see hadn't been moved into that folder yet. She could open the folder without going through the main inbox. They won't get a chance to see it, no need to panic.

If having two government agents in her living room was off-putting, it was nothing compared to having them standing around her bedroom. Shizuru swiftly sat down at her desk and opened her laptop, aware that Watanabe was watching her every move. She opened the Duran folder and paused for a beat, just long enough for Watanabe to scan the date of each email and assure himself that she hadn't been lying. She glanced over at Watanabe, making sure his eyes were on the computer screen, before clicking on the email of interest. She stood up and let the two peruse it at their leisure.

She saw Watanabe whisper something to Oshi, before producing a notepad and rapidly writing something down. Probably transcribing the entire email.

"Have you kept all your correspondence with Hizura, Fujino-san?" Oshi asked. His voice indicated that he was very interested in viewing it if she did. That was too much. A single email was bad enough, but to have their entire correspondence, her entire relationship with Natsuki picked over by these men who she believed, at the very least, could do nothing. That was too much.

"Ara, not all of it. I only kept the most recent emails-"

"The folder is quite large," Watanabe interrupted.

"- and those of interest to myself," she quickly covered.

"Of interest to you?" Oshi queried.

"Hai. Birthday wishes, congratulations, assistance with schoolwork, that kind of thing."

"Ah, I see. And you keep it all in this folder?"

It was now taking Shizuru considerable effort to continue appearing calm and unconcerned.

"Hai."

"May I take a copy of it? These emails may prove useful in our investigation. It is fortunate that you have saved even this much," Oshi withdrew a USB from his pocket as he spoke.

"Of course, I will help in any way I can. Shall I create a separate folder containing only the new emails for you? I'm sure you will find the later emails of no use."

"That won't be necessary," Oshi shook his head.

Yes, on the outside she was calm. On the inside it felt like a noose, twisting.

"I have saved a great deal. I wouldn't want you to waste your time by looking over so many emails that can be of interest to no one other then myself."

"Every avenue must be investigated thoroughly, just in case. We may be able to find some clue here that you yourself did not pick up on. We will take all of it."

She felt herself coming apart at that.

"H-hai."

Oshi connected the USB to her laptop and proceeded to download the entire folder onto it. Shizuru twisted her fingers together as the download continued, 20%, 35%, 50%. She had to look away. When it was done her computer beeped, Oshi removed the USB and returned it to a pocket within the folds of his suit. She couldn't bring herself to turn back to them.

"I have one last question for you, Fujino-san," Oshi said.

"Hai."

"Do you know of any other internet-based acquaintances Hizura-san may have?"

"No. If she had any others she has not once mentioned them to me."

"Very well. Thank you for your co-operation, Fujino-san, the information you have provided us with may be of some value to our investigation."

"I hope it is," Shizuru tried to keep the anger out of her voice, but a little bit slipped through. If either agent heard it they ignored it completely.

Shizuru's parents showed Oshi and Watanabe out. Shizuru came down the stairs just in time to see the two men walk out the door. Her parents noticeably relaxed once they were gone.

"When they showed up I thought for sure it had something to do with your Uncle Daisuke. I was so worried!" her father laughed. When he noticed how down Shizuru looked he walked over to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, don't worry. If there are government men looking for her then she must be a high priority case. I'm sure they'll find your friend in no time."

Shizuru smiled weakly at her father. She didn't believe his words, but she appreciated his efforts all the same.

She had a lot of things to think about, but first there was one thing she needed to know. That was why, before first period the next morning, Shizuru entered the completely empty Student Council room and brought up the Citizen database. This time the results did not surprise her as much.

Natsuki Hizura did not exist.


	4. Learning

**Chapter 4: Learning**

* * *

When Shizuru walked into Hotomi-sensei's class, the first thing she noticed was the odd looking machine sitting on the teacher's desk. It was made of a shiny, silver metal, with a thick, flat rectangular base. A metal bar rose up on either end, making the thing look like a square that was missing its top. The object was connected by a cord to a small computer that had its screen fused onto the keyboard.

The second thing she noticed was Hotomi-sensei standing next to it with the air of someone who was very, very pleased with herself.

"Araaaa" she hummed with curiosity, moving forward to take a closer look at the machine.

"What is it?"

Hotomi-sensei's barely smothered grin broke out again and she gleefully shooed Shizuru away.

"You will see when class starts! Go on, to your seat, to your seat."

So Shizuru went to her desk and waited for everyone else to file in, feeling a mix of strong curiosity and pleasure that the surprise was something much more interesting than a video. She needed to be distracted from everything she'd just discovered, and the bizarre machine was doing the job nicely. She had seen a machine somewhat like it once before, on television, but that had been a..._ 'No, that can't be it…'_

Hotomi-sensei watched with great enjoyment as each student walked in and took immediate notice of the machine. She let each one marvel for a moment before sending them to their seats. The time of great unveiling would come soon enough.

When everyone was present and seated she began.

"Class, we'll be starting a new topic today." She walked over to the computer attached to the machine

"But I'm sure you'll all find it a lot more interesting if I showed you, rather than told you."

She typed something into the computer as she said this. The machine whirred to life. Slivers of electricity crackled in the wide gap between the bars.

This was exactly what Shizuru thought it was. She felt a ripple of excitement run through the class as everyone else came to the same conclusion. They were breathless, Hotomi-sensei proud in the face of their awe.

Suddenly the air crackled and a metal ball appeared in the gap, as if drawn directly from the sound and the air. It was only the size of a marble, and appeared to be made of a slightly darker metal then the machine itself. It floated in the gap as sparks snapped around it. Just as suddenly another ball appeared, then a third, each exactly the same as the first.

Slowly Hotomi-sensei moved over to the machine. She held a pen in one hand and, holding it between her fingers, carefully rapped the butt of it against a metal ball. The ball flew out from the machine. It made the 'ping' of a metal marble against concrete as it hit the ground, and bounced exactly the way a metal marble would. It rolled to the back of the class, rebounded off the back wall, and slowly came to rest by a chair. The student sitting in the chair reached down carefully, fingers trembling, but hesitated to touch the ball.

"By all means," Hotomi-sensei called to him "pick it up. It is perfectly safe. Just pass it around to the rest of the class when you're done."

She typed something else into the computer. The two remaining balls began to shift, and became ellipses. She typed again and the ellipses morphed into cubes, then pyramids, then prisms. All to the open-mouthed astonishment of the class.

"This, students, is a PriME. Primitive Materialization Equipment. As you should know, materialization refers specifically to the process by which shadow photons are gathered together to form solid, visible objects. These objects, such as the two rectangular prisms you see floating here and the ball being passed amongst you, are called 'elements'. Shadow photons themselves are the most mysterious of all elementary particles. They are almost impossible to detect and have thus far proven completely impossible to measure. For us this isn't going to be a big problem, because you won't be learning about shadow photons. What you will be learning about is materialization."

As she spoke the metal ball made its way onto Shizuru's desk. She carefully picked it up and rolled it between her fingers. It felt solid, surprisingly heavy for something that size. It was smooth all over and warm from being held by a dozen other hands. She tapped it on her desk and heard the thunk of metal against wood. It was amazing, that something so solid, so real, could appear in the air as if from nothing. She couldn't help rolling it between her hands for several minutes, as if not believing that the thing actually existed, before passing it on to the next eager student. Hotomi-sensei continued her lecture.

"As you can see, mild changes in the materialization field can change the shape of the element in predictable ways. We know what to do to a field to make the elements materialize as cubes, spheres, pyramids, prisms, cylinders, any kind of simple, three dimensional shape you can imagine. We can even make a few more complex ones."

Here she began tapping at the keys for several minutes. Just as the class was beginning to get restless the elements shifted once again, elongating and hollowing out into tubes. She typed in another long command and this time they became cubes with a circular hole in the middle.

"Now, you may wonder what use this kind of technology might have. That, my dear students, you are about to find out."

Shizuru had to hold back an amused giggle. She felt the machine was marvellous enough on it's own, without having any particular use. But no, it couldn't be appreciated unless it had a use. Of course.

Hotomi-sensei typed a brief command into the computer and the two elements in the field shifted again. In a moment two bullets were floating in the materialization field.

"This, students, **this** is why PriME is so important. It gives us the potential for unlimited resources. Under...certain restrictions."

The metal ball was returned to her. She placed it on the corner of her desk furthest away from the machine.

"Elements can only exist so long as the materialization field that created them exists, even if they have since been taken out of that field. Observe."

Then, with the click of a button, the slivers of electricity disappeared, the whirring stopped, and all three elements fled back into the air from whence they came.

------------------------------------------------------------

The following weeks were very difficult for Shizuru. Since the men came. Since the revelation.

In truth, it had felt very much like a sucker punch to the gut. She had been stunned by the strike, yet in the heat of the moment it had been overcome. But the queasiness, the nausea, lingered long afterwards, a reminding echo of the blow.

Duran was a girl. That, more than any other fact, made her feel like she'd been played.

Names were meaningless and led her nowhere. Parents in the military rather than business? She'd expect anyone with parents in the military to lie about it; you never knew who was watching after all. Her age or a little younger, rather than a few years older? Not even worth mentioning. Plus she didn't know how old that photograph was, Nats- Duran really could be a few years older than her. In fact, anything those government officials told her about Duran's parents may not be true at all. Those things meant nothing and to pursue them was useless.

What mattered was that Duran was a girl. Because even though she knew that every piece of attention Duran gave her could be explained away as friendship or neediness, there was still a tiny little fraction of her heart that always hoped that he loved her back, or that he would one day. But girls did not fall in love with other girls. Well, some girls did. As much as the government liked to pretend that homosexuals didn't exist in Japan, Shizuru knew there were some around, hiding, pretending to be normal and sneaking to those clubs that normal people didn't even whisper about. Sure, they existed, but those were _other people_. They weren't her, and they sure as hell weren't Duran. Shizuru, at least, had always been a bit strange. In a charming way, a way that attracted people to her rather then sent them running. She'd never before considered that she could be...that way, but perhaps it's something she should have expected from herself, from her strangeness. But Duran...Duran was such a wonderful person. She wasn't normal, by any means. But she was so – so _clean_. She wasn't the type of person who could ever feel_ that way_ about another girl.

And didn't that say something about her, that the thing that rocked her the most about finding out she was in love with a girl was the thought that the girl would probably never love her back.

In truth, she still didn't consider herself as a lesbian. She didn't _like_ girls. She liked one particular girl, for which there were extenuating circumstances. Would it have been different if she knew from the beginning that Duran was a girl? Or would she have tumbled, just as hopelessly, into love? Most of her thought that she doesn't know the answer, and that she never would. A small, deep, rebellious part said that it wouldn't have mattered, just like it didn't matter then. The revelation of Duran's gender hadn't changed her love even the tiniest bit.

Except now she felt cheated. Cheated for the love that could now never be returned to her, of the love she had that had seemed so innocent and wondrous but now felt slightly dirty. Thinking of the extra humiliation should Duran have realized her feelings, not just a simple little crush but a complete misunderstanding. The nasty little voice spoke up _"Perhaps she knew, perhaps she was playing with you, and this was the game, to ensnare other girls and laugh at their infatuation,"_ but she shoved it back down deep, like she always had.

Yet, she also felt grounded. She had seen Duran. Had looked into her face, her real face. Had spoken about her with serious men in black suits. She was real. A real, individual person. And that meant Shizuru could find her.

Which is exactly what she was going to do.

-------------------------------------------------------

Once midyear exams finished and the holidays started Shizuru dedicated herself completely to the task of finding Duran. She poured over her emails and videos searching for clues. She found them in the background of the videos. The videos had dates in the bottom right corner. They were filmed year round, yet it never snowed, meaning it was in the South.

In certain sections, such as when they were walking through the woods, she was able to get screenshots of the surrounding vegetation detailed enough that she could figure out what plants were present. Some were very common, but others grew only along the Eastern edge of Japan, while others grew only on islands

Then, on one of the videos, the one where Duran had strapped the camera to the front of her bike and then executed a high-jump, if she froze it at the top of the jump she could see, over the trees, the pointed roof and bell of a chapel bell tower.

This was enough. Using information on the plants and their areas of growth she was able to narrow it down to three islands.

The bell tower took it down to one.

Fuuka island.

Situated off the Southwest coast of Shikoku, it consisted of a low, flat, plain like area to the South, and a raised, hilly area to the North. The bell tower belonged to the chapel of Fuuka Academy, a private boarding school situated on the raised Northern area of the island. Tsukimori, a large town, almost a city really, lay on the low Southern part of the island.

Her Uncle owned a holiday apartment in Tsukimori.

She was going there.

----------------------------------------------------

Hiromu Aida loved amateur videos. Some people's hobby was to make them, his hobby was to watch them. Stunts, pranks, home-made movies, it didn't matter. There was just nothing more entertaining than watching people do ridiculous things in new and inventive ways.

Youtube was probably his favourite place on earth.

So it was no surprise that his girlfriend offered up his services to their Student Council President in her search to find a particular amateur-video-making-stunt-group. That and his girlfriend seemed to have a thing for their very, very pretty council president.

Actually most of the girls at his school seemed to have a thing for her.

Man, going to his High School was so emasculating.

The videos were pretty amusing. People, dressed up like ninjas, doing bike stunts. Some of them even had plastic ninja weaponry sticking out of their belts. Ridiculous. Yet, much to his surprise, he had no idea who they were. He'd never even _heard_ of these guys. Oh well, just when he thought he'd seen everything.

He'd promised the Student Prez that he'd ask around, and he fully intended to. But then it was exam time and, like with all exam times, his parents disconnected his internet, unplugged his computer, completely removed the whole setup from his bedroom and told him to _**study**_.

His attempts to explain that he could look up on the internet anything he missed in his notes were completely ignored. Typical.

Fortunately exams were now over and he was back to spending all day in front of the computer.

Hiromu had not forgotten his promise to the Council President, and began asking around about the videos on the forums he frequented. Bizarrely, no one knew anything. Not a single person on any of these forums had heard of them. Either they were really new and obscure, or.....he didn't even have an 'or'.

He moved on to another forum, this one concerned with general internet lolz rather than specific video fans, in the hopes that the wider interest would produce someone who'd heard of this thing. He began a new thread with the title

**Help! Bike stunt group in ninja gear?!?**

He wrote a little about the videos, noting that the Student Council President of his school had them but didn't know where they came from or who made them, and that he really wanted to know. He quickly got a lot of replies, all pretty much boiling down to "Sounds weird/interesting, but sorry, haven't heard of 'em." But then;

**RedRocket2626: Hey, I know those videos you mentioned! The people are in a forest and most of the stunts are performed in a clearing with a ridge to one side, right?**

He sat stunned. _Finally_.

**Hotguy112: That's it exactly! Seriously who are these guys? Where can I find the videos? I haven't been able to find info on them anywhere!**

He waited eagerly for the 'ding!' that sounded a reply. There it was!

**RedRocket2626: The High School mentioned in your profile, Garderobe Academy in Kyoto, that's really the high school you go to?**

Hiromu furrowed his brow. That was...weird, and not at all the reply he was looking for.

**Hotguy112: Yes it is. Now who made those videos? I'd really like to know!**

The reply came almost immediately.

**RedRocket2626: Thank you.**

**Poster RedRocket2626 is now offline.**

Hiromu almost growled. _"How rude!"_ He quickly clicked on the username and went to RedRocket's profile page. Before he could click on the 'private message' button he paused. RedRocket's profile was completely empty. A closer look revealed a little, automatic note at the bottom of the page, telling him the user was created 15 minutes ago.

He started that thread a little over 15 minutes ago.

He clicked the 'private message' button. A message appeared on the screen

**User does not exist.**

Hiromu blinked. He refreshed the page. Now, instead of a completely empty profile, the page simply read:

**Account Deleted**

He blinked again. Well...that was interesting.

* * *

Author's Note: Just to clarify something I thought might be a bit confusing. I'm modelling the character's views on homosexuality off of Mai HiME. The way people react to it seems to be pretty mixed in the show. Haruka is _really_ homophobic, and even Shizuru seems to think there's something wrong with it. Meanwhile Mai seems to have no problem with the idea that Natsuki might be gay, and a bunch of girls at their school think the idea of two guys together is hot. So I'm just going to run with people having very different views on it, which is why Shizuru is angsting about liking another girl in one scene, and Hiromu is pretty flippant about girls liking Shizuru the next.

Also PriME is pronounced like 'prime', just fyi.

And finally, please take a little time out to review. I find reviews very motivating.


	5. I Spy

**Chapter 5: I Spy**

**Author's note: Yes, I know it's been a while, but I'm going to try and finish this. I'm also in need of a beta, so if you think my writting is good but could use some improvement, feel free to PM me.**

* * *

"No, no. Of **course** you can borrow it for a little while; I hardly use the place myself. It'll be nice to know that someone's getting my money's worth out of it."

Her uncle followed the statement up with a chuckle. Shizuru smiled.

"Ara, thank you very much Uncle Shinichi. You are always so generous."

"Hey, hey, don't worry about it. Now I'd love to chat more but I have some pressing work that I need to get back to. You just go ahead and enjoy yourself. Give my love to your parents for me."

"I will . Goodbye."

"Bye."

Smiling with satisfaction, she hung up the phone. She knew Uncle Shinichi would let her stay at his Tsukimori apartment, but it would have been rude not to ask. Next came the task of telling her parents she was going, and making it sound like she was asking.

She would have preferred to talk to her father first; it would be much easier to convince him to let her go. But he was away on business, and her trip could not wait.

Her mother was in the kitchen, leaning her hip against the sink, stirring milk into her coffee. Shizuru headed for the tea cupboard, setting a kettle of water to boil on the way

"Say, Mother?"

Her mother 'hmm'-ed in response as she dropped the spoon into the sink.

"I've been having trouble relaxing after the exams." Shizuru sighed. "I think I just found them too stressful. Perhaps if I got away by myself for a little while I could unwind."

It was useless trying to play games with her mother, the other woman always saw through them. But she would still have to argue her point. However, when her mother turned around the look on her face was indecipherable.

"Yes, that might be a good idea." She murmured, before delicately sipping from her coffee mug.

Shizuru was momentarily stunned by her easy victory. "Oh...I'm glad you think so."

Something was off here. She turned away, busied herself with making tea, and waited patiently for the other shoe to drop.

"Shizuru." And there it was. "_Has_ all this just been stress from exams?"

"Ara? What do you mean by 'all this'?"

She heard one manicured nail tap impatiently against the coffee cup.

"Your behaviour."

Shizuru turned around. A new expression had slipped onto her mother's face while her back was turned. It was worry.

"I'd like to think it was because of your exams, but you've been acting strangely for so much longer than that." She raised the mug to take another sip, but hesitated just before it touched her lips. Considering. Then murmured, "Your father and I have been worried for quite some time."

She felt guilt well up inside her. Guilt and a little something else. Had she really been acting so...so _different_? So much that her parents had noticed, had become concerned?

"Oh."

She stood in her corner of the kitchen, pinned by her mother's stare, the guilt sitting awkwardly in her chest, stiffly grasping her cup of tea.

"Is it about your friend? The one those officers asked you about?"

Her parent's concern made her feel slightly more guilty that she could look into her mother's face and lie.

"No, not at all." Shizuru assured her. She was slightly horrified that her parents had picked up so much. "Please don't worry yourself mother, I am just finding this last year of school somewhat more taxing then my previous years. I think some time away will do me good."

"Where would you go?" Her mother asked, returning to the original conversation.

"Uncle Shinichi has offered to let me stay at his Holiday apartment in Tsukimori."

Her mother gave her a look that let her know just how displeased she was that Shizuru had already organised this trip before asking permission for it.

"When would you leave?"

"As soon as I can, in the next few days perhaps." Shizuru answered, absently placing her teacup on the counter.

"Alright. I'll tell your father."

Tsukimori was beautiful. It felt like a small chunk of Tokyo, perched on the edge of an island paradise. Standing on the balcony of her uncle's holiday apartment, the bright lights of the city gathered before her. To her left the rolling ocean stretched into the horizon, and to her right the hills of Fuuka rose up, resplendent green in their forest covering. She could see, on one of the western hills, the misty outline of Fuuka Academy. A warm breeze swept over her, it smelled of the ocean, and she felt better then she had in months. Duran – Natsuki, lived here. Somewhere on this island was the clearing where Natsuki played with her friends, where she had taped videos and sent them to Shizuru. She probably went to Fuuka Academy. There were people on this island who had spoken to her, had seen her, who knew her. Who she called 'friend'. She had never been as close to Natsuki as she was right now.

Two days later Shizuru was standing at a bus stop. There was a boy there, surreptitiously looking at her. She recognised him - he lived in one of the neighbouring apartments with his family. They had run into each other a few times around the complex. Had spoken once in the elevator. He pretended not to be offended that her Uncle kept the equivalent of his entire family home as a barely-used holiday house, which was nice of him. In return she had shrugged and replied "He _is _a Government Official, and they _are_ a little overpaid, no?" She then told the boy that she was thinking of carrying out her last year of high school at Fuuka. He had eagerly told her about the school, rules, curriculum and so forth. She told him her older sister had a friend there, she thinks the girl's name was Natsuki, but can't quite remember, sorry. He told her that he hadn't seen any one matching Natsuki's description at the school. This didn't bother her too much, it was a large school and she wasn't sure exactly how old Natsuki was, and he admitted to being unfamiliar with students in years other than his own.

Now the boy, Kohta, was sidling up to her.

"Good morning Shizuru-san."

She inclined her head towards him and smiled, as if she hadn't realized he was there.

"Ara, Good morning Kohta-san. How are you today?"

He smiled back.

"I'm fine, thank you. Heading out today?"

"I was just going to look around the city." She gave a charming laugh. "But I'm not sure where to start."

"Well, perhaps I could help you. Anything in particular you want to see?"

"Not really. I'm just passing the time." She lowered her face slightly but kept her eyes on him, and despite her taller height the effect was quite adorable "I'd rather not have to spend all day in the apartment."

She noted a twitch in his eyes as he smothered the desire the glance away nervously. _Sold_.

"Well, you see, there is this very nice cafe a few blocks from here and I'm just now going to meet a few friends there. I wouldn't suppose you'd like to join me?"

"I'd love to."

Kohta looked quite pleased.

"Alright, great! Lets go."

And off they went.

The cafe was quite nice, a western style place with large windows covering almost every square inch of the walls, giving the place an airy, open feeling. They wandered over to a table already occupied by a boy and a girl their age. Kohta introduced them as his friends, Kei and Yukito. They were both very friendly, and eager to tell her about the school. Shizuru liked them, they seemed like good students, the type she normally spent her time with.

Neither of them knew anyone of Natsuki's description. Nervousness welled up in the pit of her stomach, but she brutally pushed it down. She _refused_ to begin doubting herself. It was going to take a lot more than a few teenagers and their lack of knowledge to make her even start to consider that she was in the wrong place. Instead she listened intently to Kei's enthusiastic description of the school, just in case any of it became useful later.

When she began to describe the school buildings Yukito interrupted.

"Hold on." He drawled, and Shizuru recognised the sparkle of a troublemaker in his eyes. _Ara, perhaps they are not so like the people I normally spend time with._

"Rather than _hearing_ about the school buildings, wouldn't you rather _see_ them?"

_Now we're talking._

"Ara, may I?"

"No!" Kei cried at him, then turning to Shizuru explained "It's against the rules to go onto school grounds during holiday periods. Except the dorms, because some students have to stay there even during school breaks, but the rest of the buildings are off limits."

Yukito was still grinning.

"Come on." He weedled "**No one** will be there. It's not like the school as 24 hour guards. We'll just go in, take a little look around, and leave."

Kohta was looking embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled to Shizuru "We don't normally do that kind of thing."

"Yep." Yukito nodded. "We only do it occasionally."

Kei jabbed him in the ribs.

Kohta was looking even more embarrassed.

"I _would_ like to see the school." She told him gently. "We aren't doing anything bad, so long as we only look. Are we?"

And now he was looking only a little embarrassed.

"No, of course not. I'm only worried we could get it trouble."

Yukito waved his hand about airily.

"We won't get in trouble!" He turned to Shizuru "There are guards around, but only at night. Nothing will happen, I promise."

While they waited at the bus stop, Shizuru asked them about what buses to catch to the school. While on the bus she asked them about the island. Most of the land surrounding the school was uninhabited forest. A number of large private properties were scattered about in there, but most private properties were in the city or around the beach front. A huge area of land to the east of the school was taken up by a rather sizable military base. That was a little bit of a surprise.

Getting into the school was fairly uneventful. They simply walked into the dorm area, and from there it was a short, unhindered stroll to the main campus. She followed, rapt, as the three friends took her around the school. (if she was right) This was where Natsuki went to school. She walked these paths and studied behind these walls. They rounded the corner of yet another imposing white building when Yukito pointed out a row of windows on the second floor.

"- and this is the computer lab."

It took them a moment to realize Shizuru was not following them. She stood by the corner, staring at the windows, wishing above everything that she could see inside. Inside was a chair, and a desk, and a computer. And three years ago there was a girl, sitting in the chair, at the desk, on the computer, idling away her free time on a discussion forum and telling an annoying new poster that she wasn't on her side. In that room, on other chairs, at other computers, the same girl sat, and joked with her friend, and sent her videos, and once, her laughter. In that room...

"Seriously? It's just the computer lab."

Shizuru was a bit startled to realize that Yukito had come to stand beside her again. She pouted.

"But I am very interested in computers. I don't suppose there is some way to get inside?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, no-can-do. These buildings are locked up tight."

She nodded, and they started heading back to Kei and Kohta.

"It's a pretty nice computer lab though." He added "The seats are all cushioned, very comfy. It's real big too, you won't have to fight off half the student body to get an available computer. Oh, and the computers are all pretty new as well. The only bad thing is they shut it down at 6 every night. "

Wait.

"It's a pain in the ass if you wanna pull an all nighter and your parents are too cheap to get you your own laptop."

Wait. She had spent many a late night talking to Natsuki. This wasn't right.

"Ara, is there no way to access the internet after 6?"

"Oh yeah!" Yukito replied quickly "They added a wireless network to the dorms last semester, so if your parents _aren't_ too cheap to get you your own laptop you can just log into that."

Oh. This was not right at all.

She was having trouble controlling her breathing.

_Don't ask don't ask don't ask don't ask_

"Is there any way to lose computer privileges?"

"Nuh, unless you really mess up the worst they ever give you is detention. No taking away privileges, which is pretty cool. Way better than my last school."

She nodded numbly. Kohta and Kei had since lost interest in their conversation and were talking amongst themselves, but Yukito was looking at her oddly.

"Is that... a bad thing?"

She slowly shook her head.

"No, no. I just feel a headache coming on. Perhaps it is time we head back?"

"Are you sure?" Yukito asked with a shrug "There's just one building left to see."

He looked eager to go, and she didn't have the energy to argue. So Shizuru just inclined her head and said

"If there is just one more I suppose we can finish."

They lead her down a path with flowering hedges blooming on either side, until they reached the opposite end of the school to the dormitory. There in the middle of a small courtyard sat a chapel. The school chapel, as the others explained, for those students who were religiously inclined. It even had it's own nun, who kept everything in order and ran the services, but during the holidays she stayed with friends and only came in on Sundays.

Shizuru stared at the chapel. In all her self-doubt she'd forgotten that this is what she had come to see, to confirm. And she wasn't wrong, it _was_ the same belltower she saw in Natsuki's video. She must have watched it a thousand times, she could recognise it anywhere. But how could this be right while other things were wrong?

"Oh my" She was smiling, she could feel it on her face but was helpless to control it "It certainly looks lovely, and such an interesting location. I bet you would have quite a view up near the roof."

"Ooh" Yukito replied smugly "You certainly do."

Kohta smacked him on the back.

"Stop acting like you're the only one who's been up there."

He grinned at Shizuru. He was picking up on what behaviours she seemed to appreciate.

"Ara, up _where_ exactly?"

"On the roof."

"_On_ the roof?"

"Yep. There's a ladder on the second floor, just under the belltower. It takes you up to a hatch that opens onto the roof. And the roof ain't too steep, so you can climb out and sit up there, easy as pie."

"Can we?"

"Sure! They never lock the doors. Though I gotta warn you, when the nun's not around the unlocked doors make it a favourite place for 'distracted' co-eds."

And that's when Kei burst out.

"No!"

Yukito grumbled at her. Kohta put a hand on her shoulder.

"C'mon Kei." He coaxed. "We've all been up there, it's perfectly safe, and it'll only take a few minutes."

"No." She said again, shaking her head. She glanced at Shizuru and looked a little abashed, but continued anyway.

"It's getting late, the guards should be showing up soon. If they catch us on campus we're dead meat, and if they catch us on the roof we'll be worse than dead meat!" She aimed a fine set of puppy-dog eyes squarely on Kohta. "I think we should go."

Shizuru glanced back at the chapel. She sorely wanted to get up there, but the last thing she needed was trouble.

"I must agree with Kei-san. I would prefer to avoid any trouble." She touched her forehead and said, with an exaggerated sigh, "And I do feel a headache coming on. You can always show me the roof another day."

The boys seemed content with this arrangement, and agreed on another trip as soon as they were all free. Then the four of them headed back the way they came, out the school gate, down the hillside, and back into Tsukimori.

Shizuru was feeling fairly stupid. She had almost given up on Fuuka, almost thrown away her one lead, just because a few things didn't add up, because she had jumped to conclusions. Of course once she actually gave the situation a little bit of thought the answer became obvious. The school computer lab closed early in the night, but who was to say that Natsuki even used the school computer lab? Tsukimori had its fair share of internet cafes, and Natsuki at the very least had easy access to a working motorcycle, if not outright owning one.

This didn't explain the absences, but that didn't matter. There could easily be another, just as simple, explanation for that. The important thing is she was right about the belltower. She had checked the video the moment she got home just to make absolutely sure. Then she took a screen shot of it. Then she enlarged the image of the belltower from the screenshot, and printed out both pictures.

This morning she put the pictures in her bag, and went to the bus stop. She took the bus up to the school, and walked in through the dormitory area like Kohta and his friends had shown her yesterday. She strolled all the way to the other end of the school and found the chapel. The doors were unlocked, just like Yukito said, and she was glad to find it free of 'distracted' co-eds. At the back were stairs up to the second floor. The ladder was easy enough to find, right where Yukito said it was. At the top was a little hatch that opened up right next to the belltower. The view was indeed beautiful.

Leaving the hatch open, Shizuru carefully hooked her bag over the ladder and removed the two pictures. Holding the enlarged image of the belltower in front of the screenshot, she carefully moved around the roof until the angle at which she was looking at the belltower was the same as the one in the picture. Shifting slowly, she sat down, leaning her back against the tower. Now facing the right direction, she used the screen shot to judge how far away it was taken. It wasn't exact, but it would give her a rough idea of where Natsuki's clearing was.

Natsuki's clearing, it turned out, was smack in the middle of the military base.


End file.
